Emotionally Focused Therapy in Colorado Springs
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a short term, structured approach to couples and family counseling developed in the 1980s by Dr. Sue Johnson and Dr. Les Greenberg. Grounded in attachment theory, EFT views emotional bonds between partners not as a luxury but as a biological necessity. According to this model, humans are wired to seek closeness and security with the people they love, and much of relationship distress stems from disruptions to that sense of safe connection. If you are experiencing this distress, learn how our counselors can help guide you to a better sense of safety in your relationship.
The Core of EFT
At the heart of EFT is a simple but powerful theory: negative patterns in relationship, which can be anything like criticism, withdrawal, defensiveness, stonewalling, are rarely about the surface issue being argued over. Instead, they are protective strategies triggered by deeper fears of rejection, abandonment, or not mattering to a partner. A partner who nags may be desperately seeking reassurance. A partner who shuts down may be trying to avoid feeling like a failure. EFT helps couples see past these surface behaviors to the vulnerable emotions and unmet attachment needs underneath.
Benefits of EFT
Our EFT therapists guide couples through three general stages:
1. De-escalation. We’ll assist partners to identify the negative cycle they’re stuck in. For example, one partner pursues while the other withdraws, and reframes it as a shared enemy rather than a sign that the relationship or the partner is fundamentally flawed. This stage reduces blame and creates space for curiosity.
2. Restructuring interactions. Partners are guided to express the softer, more vulnerable emotions driving their behavior, such as fear, loneliness, longing, rather than the anger or distance that usually masks them. This often involves reaching moments of genuine emotional openness, sometimes called “softening,” where a previously guarded partner shares a need directly and the other partner responds with empathy rather than defensiveness.
3. Consolidation. New patterns of communication and emotional responsiveness are reinforced, and couples develop tools to apply these insights to future conflicts on their own.
What Makes EFT Distinct
Unlike some therapeutic approaches that focus primarily on communication skills or behavioral contracts, EFT centers on emotional experience itself. We’ll work with partners to notice and articulate what they’re feeling as it happens, rather than simply discussing past incidents. This experiential quality is part of why EFT sessions can sometimes feel emotionally intense.
The Evidence Behind EFT
EFT is one of the most rigorously researched couples therapy models. Studies have found that a majority of couples move from distress to recovery after a course of EFT, and outcomes tend to hold up well over time. It has also been adapted for individual therapy and family work, and has shown promise with diverse populations, including couples dealing with trauma, depression, and chronic illness.
Who is EFT Right For?
EFT is generally recommended for couples who are willing to engage emotionally, even if that feels difficult at first. It may be less suitable in situations involving active abuse, addiction, or ongoing affairs, which typically require specialized intervention before relational work can safely begin.
Ultimately, EFT offers a hopeful message: conflict often isn’t a sign that a relationship is broken, but a signal that both partners are longing to feel securely connected—and that longing can become the very thing that brings them back together.
Insurance Accepted
PWG is proud to accept the following insurance providers:
Aetna and First Health, Anthem, Blue Cross Blue Shield, Cigna and Evernorth, Kaiser Commercial, Medicare, Medicare Advantage, Tricare (Including Tricare Select, Tricare Prime, and TriWest), United Healthcare and UMR.
We do not work with or accept court ordered clients. Thank you for your understanding.
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A Safe and Inclusive Place
PWG is passionate and committed to helping all clients. We offer a safe, respectful, and inclusive environment to culturally diverse and LGBTQIA+ clients. We are dedicated to providing culturally competent, quality wellness services with providers who are supportive, aligned, and accepting.
